


Au Naturel

by AntarcticBird



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntarcticBird/pseuds/AntarcticBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>None of this would have happened if Blaine wasn't so obsessed with obscure holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Au Naturel

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt ficlet for fountnofthought who asked for "None of this would have happened if Blaine wasn't so obsessed with obscure holidays...".

None of this would have happened if Blaine wasn't so obsessed with obscure holidays.

And if Kurt didn't love him enough to usually give in to his crazier ideas.

And if the 14th of July hadn't happened to be a Saturday and they both had the day off.

It was all really incredibly unfortunate and Kurt knew he wasn't going to forget that day anytime soon.

It probably didn't really help that they had just moved into their new apartment and no one there knew them yet to be the sane, not-at-all-unusual guys they really were. Really, Kurt thought, they were almost boring most of the time. On any other day, they weren't the kind to invite a lot of gossip or weird looks. They were boring, regular guys. Sadly, that wasn't the way most of their neighbors would know them now.

**

_Friday, July 13th, 2018, 8:39pm_

“You don't have to work tomorrow, right?” Blaine inquired, sprawled across their brand-new king-sized bed, head resting on Kurt's stomach.

Kurt lowered his book, shaking his head at Blaine. “Of course not. It's Saturday. I always have Saturdays off.”

“Just making sure.” Blaine looked up at him, eyes sparkling in a way that should have been Kurt's first clue.

“What?” Kurt asked.

“Making sure you don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, because that might be awkward.”

“Awkward why?” Kurt dropped his book onto the bed, giving up on reading for now.

“Because it's National Nude Day tomorrow.”

“And?”

“And we're celebrating it, silly.” Blaine grinned at him, looking as excited as a kid on Christmas.

“We are?” Kurt blinked slowly.

“I've always wanted to and this is perfect.”

“Um. I don't think so, no.”

“Aw, come on.” Blaine pouted at him. “It'll be fun!”

“Walking around naked all day is fun? How?”

“Wouldn't you like it if you didn't have to worry about what to wear for just one day?” Blaine tried. “It's going to save you so much time in the morning.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday,” Kurt pointed out. “I'm going to be wearing sweatpants and your old Dalton shirt. It will take me thirty seconds to put it on.”

“Please, Kurt!” Blaine begged, crawling up his body to put a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, a gesture that, even after years together, still made Kurt melt. “For me?”

Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes before he kissed Blaine back, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's back. “Fine. But this isn't going to be an annual thing. And don't expect me to be moving from this bed. I don't sit on furniture naked.”

“Yay!” Blaine exclaimed, tackling him to the mattress and starting to kiss his way down Kurt's neck.

“How do you even know about National Nude Day?” Kurt wanted to know, hugging Blaine a little closer, enjoying the warmth of his body against his own.

“The internet, of course,” Blaine explained. “There are all kinds of crazy holidays. Every day of the year is a holiday, in fact. There's a holiday for everything. We should celebrate them all!”

“Or I could just take away your computer,” Kurt suggested.

**

_Saturday, July 14th, 2018, 9:21am_

“This isn't as weird as I thought it would be,” Kurt admitted, sitting naked at the kitchen table while Blaine prepared breakfast.

Blaine laughed, wiggling his ass at him. “Enjoying the view?”

Kurt leaned back in his chair, letting his eyes roam freely. “Definitely.”

**

_Saturday, July 14th, 2018, 11:36am_

“This _really_ isn't as weird as I thought it would be,” Kurt stated, hugging Blaine a little tighter as they danced to something slow in the middle of their living room. “In fact, I could get used to this.”

“Naked dancing? It's my favorite kind,” Blaine agreed, sliding his hands up and down Kurt's back as he pressed in a little closer.

Kurt kissed Blaine's shoulder before pinching his ass lightly. “You better be aware of what this is leading to.”

“That's the whole point,” Blaine confessed, nuzzling his face against Kurt's neck. “Just not yet. I kind of like being naked with you.”

Kurt laughed. “I know that. You're making that quite clear almost every night.”

“No, but,” Blaine looked up at him, his eyes full of affection that made Kurt's heart swell several sizes. “I don't just mean like that. I mean, just getting to see you. All of you. And touch you. And... well, you know.”

“Oh.” Kurt nodded. “Yes. Me too.”

“Good.” Blaine grinned, leaning up for a kiss, which was interrupted by a loud knock from the direction of the living room window.

“What the...” Kurt spun around, blood rushing to his face as he saw a woman staring back at them and waving from the fire escape.

“Hi, new neighbors,” she called. “I heard you move in the other day and wanted to welcome you to our...” she broke off, eyes widening almost comically as she completely took in the sight before her. Emitting a loud shriek she started scrambling away toward her own window, calls of “Naked guys, naked guys, oh my _god_ , naked guys” fading slowly as she crawled back to the safety of her apartment.

“Oh my...” Kurt buried his face in his hands, groaning. “Great. This is all your fault.”

Blaine was looking at him sheepishly as he lowered his hands. “How embarrassed are you right now?”

Kurt shrugged. “Why?”

“Because...” Blaine tried to keep a serious expression, but Kurt could see the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. “Don't you think that was at least a little bit funny?”

“I...” Kurt stared at him, not sure what to say. “I don't...”

By this point Blaine was shaking silently with suppressed laughter and Kurt felt an answering giggle rise up in his throat.

Within seconds they were clutching at each other, gasping and roaring with laughter. “We have to...” Blaine panted, leaning on Kurt to stay upright. “Later... Go over... Explain... Apologize...”

Kurt pressed a hand to his side, aching with laughter. “She could apologize first. We didn't exactly ask her to invade our fire escape.”

**

_Saturday, July 14th, 2018, 2:58pm_

“Candles in July? Really Blaine?” Kurt, having given up on his no-sitting-naked-on-furniture rule by noon, snuggled back into the couch cushions. From where he was appreciating his boyfriend's naked form as he was bent over the coffee table, lighting several of those disgusting scented candles he liked so much.

“It's romantic,” Blaine defended himself. “It fits the theme of the day!”

“And you used to be so good at romance,” Kurt sighed.

Having lit the last candle, Blaine crawled on top of Kurt on the couch, kissing him deeply. “I still am, babe.”

“Ridiculous is what you are.” Kurt sighed. “But you know I love you anyway.”

“You just can't resist the nakedness.” Blaine grinned down at him, one hand sliding low until it slipped under Kurt's ass, squeezing lightly. “You've been staring all morning.”

“As opposed to you, who's been nothing but a gentleman so far.” Kurt nipped at Blaine's bottom lip, spreading his legs so Blaine could make himself comfortable on top of him.

“Mmm.” Blaine kissed Kurt's chest before pulling the pillow from underneath Kurt's head, tossing it away carelessly. They sank further into the couch, completely horizontal now, and Blaine shifted until their half-hard cocks slid together. “No more being nice now,” he whispered. “No more staring.”

“Oh no?” Kurt laughed. “Whatever are we going to do with the rest of the day, then?”

Blaine kissed the side of Kurt's face, teeth gently tugging on his earlobe before he said in a low voice: “I have plans.”

“Yeah? What kinds of plans?” Kurt arched underneath Blaine, skin against skin, breathing heavily already.

“How about I just show you?”

“I guess that would be acceptable.”

They rutted against each other slowly, growing harder as they kissed and touched. And, Kurt thought, this being naked deal really wasn't that bad at all. In fact, he might even be okay with doing it again some time.

“Wait.” Blaine lifted his head, sniffing. “What's that smell?”

Kurt turned his head to the side, and then shoved Blaine to the floor, jumping off the couch with an alarmed cry. “Fire!”

“Shit!” Blaine gasped, catching sight of the burning pillow on the coffee table.

“You and your candles,” Kurt gritted out between clenched teeth, looking for something with which to put out the fire. “I swear to you if you burn down the apartment while we're naked... and haven't lived here for a whole week even...”

“Fire extinguisher,” Blaine suggested, staggering to his feet. “Out in the hall.”

“Right.” Kurt sprinted across the tiny living room, yanking open the front door, and continued to run down the hallway towards the stairs where he distinctly remembered seeing one.

He had just got the damn thing off the wall and turned around to rush back to the apartment when he found himself face to face with a tiny old woman, shopping bags in her hands, staring him with a silent, slightly accusing look on her face.

“Oh, um.” Kurt tried to smile at her while using the fire extinguisher to preserve as much of his dignity as possible under the circumstances.

“Hello, young man,” the old lady said, her voice cold and her expression definitely a little on the affronted side.

“Mrs Jenkins, right?” Kurt asked. “From next door? It's... n-nice to... meet you. I guess,” he added, as the woman walked past him with her head held high, muttering something about _manners_ and _never in my life_ under her breath.

“Hey, honey, I think I got it,” Blaine's voice sounded from the direction of their door, and Kurt, fire extinguisher still in his hands, walked back down the hall.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Grimaldi,” he heard Blaine say, and looked up to see the fifty-somehting guy from across the hall peeking around his door with a confused expression on his face. “Everything under control, just a small fire,” Blaine assured him, sounding entirely too confident and cheerful for someone dressed only in his birthday suit.

Kurt smiled at their neighbor apologetically before slipping into the apartment behind Blaine and closing the door softly.

They just stood for a moment, not meeting each other's eyes.

“What did you use to put out the fire?” Kurt asked, deciding to just ignore this newest humiliation they could add to their apparently growing list.

Blaine held up the empty wine bottle, giving him a bashful look. “I... Do you think Mrs Jenkins will ever speak to us again? I liked her.”

Kurt held up a hand, proud of himself for not blushing. “Let's just... never speak of this again, shall we?”

“Okay,” Blaine agreed, obviously relieved. “Does that mean... I'd understand if you'd want to put on some clothes...”

“Oh, whatever.” Kurt sighed, lifting his head to smile at Blaine. “I think we should be safe from now on. I mean, what else could possibly happen after that?”

**

_Saturday, July 14th, 2018, 7:23pm_

They kept the windows open the rest of the afternoon, trying to air out the worst of the smoke from the miniature fire.

“How do you feel about dinner?” Blaine asked.

“You're not cooking,” Kurt said firmly, snuggling into Blaine's side as they flicked through the channels, trying to decide on what to watch. “You're not setting anything else on fire tonight.”

“Nudity is not a fire hazard, Kurt,” Blaine reminded him.

“It seems to be when you're the one who's naked,” Kurt disagreed.

“Hey.” Blaine poked him in the ribs. “The fire was totally your fault. You distracted me with your... skin.”

“Of course.” Kurt poked him back, giggling. “Because you've never seen my skin before.”

“It's distracting every single time, Kurt!” Blaine sighed, resting his head on Kurt's bare shoulder. “I'd never get any work done if you'd walk around naked every day.”

“Same.” Kurt kissed his curly head before turning back toward the TV. “I'm pretty sure it would be difficult to keep a job this way.”

“So.” Blaine sat up, his stomach growling. “Pizza? If you won't let me cook for you?”

“I could cook for you,” Kurt offered.

“What if you set something on fire because _I_ distract _you_?” Blaine asked.

Kurt pondered it for a moment before giving in. “Fine. Pizza it is. But you get dressed and open the door for the delivery guy.”

“Deal.”

Blaine kissed him before getting up to find his phone. Which took him about twenty minutes. Not having any pockets was definitely a draw-back to this whole nudity thing.

**

“You might want to get some clothes now,” Kurt reminded Blaine, who was standing by the window, observing the street below.

“Got it covered,” Blaine replied, waving toward the neatly folded towel on the piano bench.

“That's not clothes,” Kurt sighed. “But I guess it'll do. For today.”

“Actual clothes would be cheating, Kurt.”

Blaine sounded so serious, Kurt just had to laugh out loud. “Of course,” he agreed.

“I take this holiday very seriously.” Blaine turned around, the smile in his eyes somewhat betraying his completely sincere expression. “Wearing clothes on National Nude Day is like... breaking up on Valentine's Day. Or eating lasagna on Sandwich Day. Or taking a shower on Bubble Bath Day.”

“There's a Bubble Bath Day?” Kurt asked, shaking his head. “We should definitely celebrate that one.”

“That's why I love you.” Blaine grinned, such warmth in his eyes Kurt found it incredibly difficult to stay on his spot on the couch and not tackle Blaine to the floor and show him exactly just how much he loved him back. There would be time for that later. When they were not waiting for their pizza.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.

“I'll get it,” Blaine said, and Kurt sank deeper into the couch so that no more than his head could be seen from the doorway.

Blaine wrapped the large fluffy bath towel around his hip, hurrying across the room.

Grabbing the money from the end table next to it, he opened the door with his other hand, taking a step back to greet the pizza guy. Kurt knew it was going to happen a fraction of a second before it did, Blaine stepping on the edge of the towel which, almost in slow motion, slid from his hips, pooling around his feet, leaving Kurt with a nice view of his backside and the pizza delivery man with a view of... everything else.

Kurt groaned inwardly, head falling back onto the armrest of the couch.

“Oops. Well. Um. Hi,” Blaine greeted, and Kurt peeked around the edge of the couch to see a pimple-faced boy holding out a pizza carton with shaky hands, eyes wide and a little taken aback.

“Pepperoni with extra cheese,” pizza boy croaked, seemingly torn between the need to run away and the urge to yell for help.

“Thanks.” Blaine took the pizza, handing over the money which the boy tentatively took from his fingers, snatching his hand away as quickly as he could.

“Oh, hi Mrs Ivanovich, hi Lisa and Brad,” Blaine greeted the mother and her two children from next door who chose exactly this moment to walk past their apartment.

The pizza boy fled, Blaine shouting after him “It's okay, keep the change.”

Over the top of the couch, Kurt could see Mrs Ivanovich drawing her children closer to her side, covering their eyes with her hands. “There are families living in this house,” she told Blaine in a tight voice, before dragging her kids off to the safety of her own home.

“It was an accident,” Blaine called, then shrugged, closing the door and walking back over to Kurt, carefully setting the pizza on the coffee table next to the burn mark and pillow residue from earlier.

“How long will it take us to find a new apartment?” Kurt asked resignedly.

Blaine shrugged, rubbing a hand across his face. “I like it here.”

“We'll be the weird naked guys from now on. The entire house already saw us naked.”

“Maybe they'll forget if we're really nice to them?” Blaine tried. “I _really_ like it here.”

“I like it here too,” Kurt agreed, “but I think we'd better not be too nice to anyone in the near future. They might... misinterpret it.”

“Ugh, right.” Blaine dropped onto the couch next to Kurt, dropping his face into his hands. “Maybe if we explained that it was National Nude Day...”

“I doubt that would improve the situation.” Kurt leaned over to rub a hand between Blaine's shoulders soothingly, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. “We'll think of something. And besides, there are worse names they could call us. Naked Guys doesn't sound all that bad, does it?”

“It would be a really cool band name,” Blaine agreed, smile already returning to his face.

**

_Saturday, July 14th, 2018, 11:03pm_

“What do you think you're doing?” Kurt asked Blaine, lifting his head from where he was resting comfortably on the bed, pizza and a fresh bottle of wine long gone, his limbs pleasantly heavy from his recent orgasm.

“Um,” Blaine looked up at him, one hand extended toward the closet door. “Putting on pajamas?”

“Oh no, you don't.” Kurt sat up all the way, waving Blaine back over to the bed. “Day isn't over yet.”

Blaine's face lit up and he climbed onto the bed, kissing Kurt firmly on the mouth. “I take it you didn't hate all of it, then?”

“Hmmm.” Kurt lay back, taking Blaine with him until his head was resting just over Kurt's heart. “The day did have its moments.”

“Are we doing it again next year?”

“No promises.” Kurt carded his fingers through Blaine's sweaty curls, gently massaging his scalp. “Let's see how long it takes us this time to win our neighbors' trust back.”

“So, we're not moving, then.” Blaine pressed his palm flat against Kurt's chest, thumb stroking random patterns into the warm skin. “Good.”

“Not if we can avoid it,” Kurt decided. “Even if that means we have to carry every old lady's shopping bag within a three mile radius for the next six months. Have you seen our bathroom? I'm not giving that up!”

“It's the tub, isn't it?” Blaine sighed. “We haven't even properly broken it in yet.”

“Maybe we can do that on Bubble Bath Day.”

“That's not before January.” Blaine snuggled closer, humming contentedly when Kurt started rubbing his back. “But if you're up for a round two...”

“...more like round five or something.”

“...we could break it in tonight.”

“I think I'd probably drown,” Kurt yawned.

“Okay.” Blaine sighed, his head snapping up all of a sudden, a bright grin spreading across his face. “Oh, I got it. Do you think we can wait another two weeks or so?”

“What's in two weeks?” Kurt asked, slightly wary after the adventures of this holiday.

“National Orgasm Day.” Blaine grinned brightly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Kurt laughed, pressing his face to Blaine's neck. “Fine. I guess that sounds okay.”

“Just okay? It's going to be fantastic!” Blaine insisted.

“I guess so, when I can celebrate it with you,” Kurt replied, smiling warmly before running a hand down to Blaine's hip. “In fact, I think we should practice for it, don't you think?”

“I thought you were tired?” Blaine sounded pleased, pressing in a little closer, throwing one leg over Kurt's thighs.

“I'm not that tired,” Kurt assured him. “I saved a lot of energy today by not having to dress in the morning.”

“Told you.” Blaine kissed him, then shrieked a little as Kurt wrapped his arms around him and flipped them over in a swift motion so that Blaine was pinned underneath him.

“You did. Now let's enjoy the rest of National Nude Day while it lasts. And I'm still taking away your internet before you get any more crazy ideas.”

“We'll see about that,” Blaine answered. “I have my ways of distracting you.”


End file.
